I plead guilty.

I know the way to hear God. I mean I really think I do. It’s not rocket science. Yes, there are times (even very lengthy ones) in the lives of believers, when God seems distant or even absent altogether.  But, I’m not talking about those times. I’m talking about the other times. The normal day to day times that define the vast majority of our existence.

Now, a lot of us who believe in a personal God spend anywhere from a little bit of time to a whole lot of time talking to him. As in, I do the talking and your job is to do the listening. Of course, in that operational model, his job is to either speak back directly or enact a solution (as quickly as possible) to whatever dilemma we’ve chosen to share with him. As if he didn’t already know.

I’m aware, through personal experience and the expressed experiences of others, that people who do not necessarily buy into the concept of a personal God, also direct thoughts or wishes to a spirit or force outside of themselves. My point here is that the overwhelming majority of people in this world seek a relationship with the supernatural that involves a lot of directed conversation.

In return, as I just said, we expect an appropriate response.

People a whole lot wiser than I have characterized this operational model as making God akin to the genie in the bottle or a personal valet.

The net effect of this, I believe, is disappointment and even anger or resentment. The net effect of this, also, is to make God in man’s image, not the reverse.

I’ve been wanting to get into this a bit since starting this little exercise. But part way through last night’s discussion in our regular Wednesday small group it sort of crystalized for me. As I’ve mentioned before, we’re working our way through A.W. Tozer’s The Pursuit of God and spent our time in a chapter that centered on listening. As always, a lively discussion! One of the members, Tony, is also in my Monday morning group and we spent many months a year ago exploring Dallas Willard’s Hearing God. Think there’s a theme here?

Once again, I plead guilty. Hearing God or listening to God is easier said than done. What’s going on here and why does it matter?

Starting from the premise that the whole thing is about relationship and that relationship is a two way street, is there more traffic going in one direction than the other? I mean, how long can that last? I’m going out on a limb here to very briefly touch on the subject of prayer. I hope briefly.

We are called to pray. But, what is the purpose of prayer and why do so many of us feel we deserve at best a C+ average? Sure, sometimes we feel in the zone, especially when we’re in a prayer group. Sometimes, I’ve experienced God’s presence so viscerally in those situations that I felt immobilized and couldn’t even open my eyes for quite a bit after the time was up. However, what is our experience like when we’re alone, praying? I’m sure each of can testify that we do a lot of asking and we do a whole lot of wondering why it’s so hard to focus when our minds want to wander everywhere. Anyone else think they have hamsters on that little wheel in our brains, running at full speed? We talked about that last night.

For many of us, we talk to God, tell him our concerns, thank him for his blessings and ask him for guidance. Some of us are better at this than others. I have a friend, who is too humble for me to mention his name here, that may have missed like two or three mornings in the last fifteen years when he has not started his day in extended prayer. That’s a discipline I guess I wish I had but have not developed. Diane is more adept at this than I.  Nearly every morning, she sets aside considerable time to the practice of devotion. While working, she had less time than she has now but she has always been disciplined in that respect. I like the word “devotion” because it encompasses more than our normal concept of prayer. “Prayer” has a conscious or subconscious connotation of the lane towards God as opposed to the lane from God. Technically, prayer is both but I don’t believe that’s how most of us practice it.

If the point is relationship … and I really believe that IS the point, than how do we receive God? How do we know his will for us? If the character of God is, in large part, unconditional love (often delivered through the medium of grace), in what way can we translate that so that our lives are a reflection of his character (which is one of the main reasons Jesus walked this earth). Speaking of Jesus, he spent a whole lot of time and energy speaking to his muddled disciples (read: people like me), describing what living within the will of God is like. Of course, he told parable after parable to try to unlock their presumptions about who God is and what he wants for us. Honestly, I can’t find any illogic in any of them, although they are almost all counterintuitive to how our culture teaches us to live. Logical and counterintuitive. That’s cognitive dissonance for you!

Sorry. Getting a little off track.

Here is where this is going. If God is personal and seeks a relationship with us and his will (intent) for us is to reflect his character, than it seems natural that we give at least equal time to listening to him as talking to him. But, that’s a problem, of course, because we know what we’re saying (either aloud or in our thoughts) but he can be a little hard to locate given he’s naturally invisible to us. In the obvious sense. So, how do we hear? What are we listening for? How do we know his will?

This is where we arrive at “this is not rocket science.” We need to be quiet. Period. Cut out the noise. Cut out the chatter. Cut out all of the stuff that creates static on the God radio.

Some practitioners of eastern faiths and Christian mystics are quite adept at this. Much of modern Christianity has kind of frowned on this for a variety of reasons but I’m a believer in its validity. Because I’ve found it works, even though I’m nowhere near being a poster child in this department.

Here is an image that helps me and it serves two purposes. First, a story. One summer in college, some friends and I decided to go on a canoe trip on a river in northern California. We didn’t have a canoe and needed two of them. Eventually, we found two that we could borrow/rent on the side of a riverbank, next to a house. We cut the deal, stashed our stuff and headed downstream. Being adventurous and not level headed college guys, we did not have any real idea of what we’d find on the river but had a general idea of where it would end … at this big reservoir a couple of days downstream. No map. I remember going down the river and watching the banks as the current led us. Fortunately, no cataracts, just a nice trip where we steered this way and that, staying in the current, trusting the flow and appreciating the moments.

My friend, Ken, asks the question, “What is a river without banks?” The answer is “a big puddle.” I resonated with this a few years ago and began to reimagine being in God’s will as being in that canoe. There’s a flow with a direction. I don’t always know the direction but I trust the flow. It feels right. I can see the boundaries and they tell me a lot. There are rocks and brambles and obstacles to be navigated but there is also great beauty and deep peace. I remember the quiet in that canoe, even though we were college guys. We’d go a ways without talking. We could hear the crickets, birds, and frogs. See the sunlight on the trees, appreciate the dragon flies darting over the water’s surface.

Sometimes, we ask God for answers to specific questions or for information on how to make a specific decision. There is no problem with that. In fact he knows our question or request before we do. But, I find myself asking more for trust in him to see if the river is headed in the right direction or if, perhaps, I went off on the wrong fork and need to disembark, portage over, and get back on the right course. “Please show me the path you’d like me to take, Lord. I trust that path to help me make good decisions that reflect what you want for me.”

For me, the only way I can know the path is to be quiet and to discern. Filter out the noise. If I were a baseball player, I’d probably be in Single A. Nowhere close to the majors but no longer in Little League.

Yes, I have heard God’s voice. No doubt in my mind. Rock solid. Came in the left side of my head that made me even look in that direction. Very specific. No room for maneuvering, although I tried that for a split second. The brief conversation between the two of us also left no room for misinterpretation. It was as real as anything I’ve ever experienced. This was no hallucination or subconscious mental game. The data up to and after that has proven itself beyond any doubt. Of course, lots of people say that God tells them this or that. Perhaps.

I have “heard” God many times since then. None with such force as that one. But, I can’t remember a time when I received what I felt was the call or message from God that it proved not to be true. And, almost all of the time, it arrived when the button on the send/receive two way radio was set to receive. The squelch button was engaged. At very few of these times was I asking for a sign of his presence or an answer to a specific question. Maybe that’s just me and you have had different experiences. Most often, a “message” invades my consciousness as a kind of urge to act or take a direction. Sometimes it’s an answer (often delayed) to a request for direction, rather than a solution. On most occasions, the message is short and to the point. As in, “you need to focus your priorities on these two things.” Countless people have described this phenomenon as the Still Small Voice. Not sure where that name came from but there is just a ton of concrete testimony as to its nature. And, I go through periods where that dimension of God’s delivery system seems to be on fairly frequently. As in, “Really, God, you’re urging me to do that? I didn’t ask for that. I don’t really feel like I want to do that. I think this just my imagination and I’m going to ignore it.” Interestingly, I haven’t had the occasion to keep ignoring it without the message arriving a bit more bluntly and forcefully, which teaches me two certain lessons. (A) God wins in the end and so do I and (B) It wasn’t so hard after all or (C) We both lose. After a lot of this over time, even a knuckle head like me begins to get the picture.

Now, someone could argue that this is just a simple cognitive process that has no divine connection. Perhaps. But, here’s the catch …

Put together, all of these messages have led me in a direction that would have been inconceivable fifteen years ago and I have the same intellect and cognitive abilities. I mean, completely inconceivable. And, not only that, but they have produced a life that is different than I could have imagined or hoped for. In many ways, they cut against the grain of most that I had learned previously about the nature of reality.

So, why does quiet matter? The static is the stuff we throw up, based upon priorities we hold to be more important than just plain listening to God and resting in his will. Religious stuff? Perhaps. Is the yoke hard? Maybe. But it certainly beats the alternative. In fact it’s as light as getting into a canoe and heading down a stream. Of course, I have a hard time with this frequently. Hence the guilty plea. But, my inner sense knows what to do. I need help all of the time, which is one thing I ask him for. And, slowly but surely, there is movement.

Three biblical verses come to mind. The first if from Matthew 6:6. “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.” In other words, be alone. The second is from Luke 5:16. “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” The third is from Mark 1:35. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place where he prayed.” Jesus, of course was a very busy guy but he needed his quiet time … to settle the buzz and just be in the presence.

Now, more than ever, I love listening. I love to be surprised. I love when the need to do gives way to just being still. The doing will come, no doubt about it. There is work that needs accomplishing. There’s a world of opportunity to act. He knows my needs and a big part of my job is to just trust him. While some may disagree, I believe the outcome is decided and for good reason.

Two weeks ago, I had no thought to share these kinds of things. First came the urge. Then came the clear message. Both occurred while I was in silence. When things were very quiet. During this whole last month, I’ve felt in the canoe and my job is to stay the course, appreciate the ride, rely on the current when my arms tire of paddling, trust in his soft voice, his comfort and love.

If you haven’t stopped reading yet (I wouldn’t blame you), I have one last thing to say and then an update.

These words I’ve been typing and posting are my reply to God. They are my love letters to him. They aren’t just that, of course, as they are other things too. But, they are that. They most assuredly are that.

Lord, thank you for loving me and encouraging me to get to know you. Thank you for helping to unplug my ears and take the scales away from my eyes. Thank you for softening my heart and creating a better balance between my heart and mind. Thank you for the quiet times. By the way, I need help with those because it’s often hard and I don’t do a particularly good job of settling down. Please help me to see the path, the flow and the banks that define the course that is your will and desire for me. Forgive me when I am blind or stray or ignore you. Which is too often, I’m afraid. Thank you for that. Amen.

OK. A brief health update. Monday night and most of Tuesday was pretty tough. Fortunately, by late Tuesday evening, I was doing much better, although fairly wiped out. Am back to where I was about a week ago. Steady on. Looking forward to the upcoming doctor’s appointment. Diane and I can hardly express our gratitude for your phone calls, emails, texts, prayers, and love. I’m not sure anyone is as fortunate as we are.

God bless,