Let’s take a small step back and ask a few questions about humility. Later, I think we’ll explore its significance and the idea of how it can change us.

While I mentioned the word “virtue” yesterday, I stayed away from its opposite. On purpose. At worst, I imagine the concept of virtue is treated as a kind of nice, non-threatening idea … but not something we really need to think about. Or, it’s whatever we make of it as in if I’m true to my beliefs, I’m basically a virtuous person, kind of like “integrity” which can be a very good thing  but it’s not the same thing. My handy little built-in dictionary app that I’m not particularly impressed with says that it is a “quality or behavior that is considered morally good or desirable, even useful.” In an age of moral relativism, I’m not sure how profound this definition is. It certainly begs many other questions. At best, though, virtue is the magnetized point on the compass that pulls us strongly in a certain very positive direction. Virtue recognizes that life is not simple and is a journey with a destination. It tugs and compels, rather than just clarifies.

We began getting at this thing called Humility which in one very traditional list is lumped alongside its siblings Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience and Kindness. These postures were valued as the antidote to their opposite seven: Pride, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, and Greed.

Not the stuff of modern or dinner table conversation. A throwback to a distant pre-scientific age? Let’s ask ourselves, as collections, which ones would we rather emphasize as important to our children? The question begs an answer, a choice. We have to determine if one set is better than the other as a general guideline for living. Presumably, you won’t hear many parents preaching or teaching the latter list. Why is that? Have we determined that there is some absolute metric that is better than another, regardless of what some may believe? Where does that come from? If we make a choice as to which group we’d rather choose to influence our children, then we honestly need to ask why and what is the origin of that why?

Which brings us to that terribly out of vogue (or contrarily, that terribly over used) word: Sin.

Ah, the attack on our modern and enlightened sensibilities! Whereas we can embrace or even just stomach the concept of virtue, many of us bridle at the idea of sin. It’s so judgmental, for pete sake. A throwback to the pre modern idea that there is embodied evil, the supreme example of whom is this fallen angel named Lucifer, better known as the Devil. Fire and pitchforks. Eternal damnation. A virtuous life buys you heaven and a sinful life buys you hell. The better part of western society has either left that paradigm altogether or is in the process of trying to.

But the problem is you can’t have one without the other. Not anywhere in human experience.

Gluttony is not gluttony unless measured against temperance. Greed is not greed unless measured against charity. And pride is not pride unless measured against humility.

I mentioned yesterday that the opposite of humility might be arrogance or even narcissism. In the classic reading, the opposite of humility is pride. And this one hurts. As we all know pride and are even proud of our pride!! We celebrate our pride! And wait for it …

Pride has been labeled the most deadly of sins.

Does that mean humility is the greatest of virtues?

Does this discussion really have anything to do with how I live my life or should live my life? Especially in 2016. Really?

For the moment, let’s part with any “religious” interpretations and look at these fourteen postures without a God. And, let’s then hone in on pride and humility, realizing that far too much has been written about these things than we can have time for here. By any definition, pride is having an elevated sense of one’s value or the value of one’s achievements or the value of one’s community, etc…  Most frequently, this is manifested as a comparison, as in I have performed better than those other people or my team is better than yours or my kids are more deserving of playing time or I sure did graduate from a premier college as against those other people who for whatever reason didn’t graduate from as premier a college.

Actually, pride is kind of fun as well as being the natural extension of membership in a family, tribe or ethnicity. We are, in fact, communal creatures and tend to trust those with whom we live collaboratively, sharing values and resources. Really then, what’s so wrong with hanging that well-deserved diploma on the wall, having titles that command respect, showcasing trophies and waving whatever flag we believe best tells the world who we are?

Why on earth would some group of philosophers or theologians going back to and before antiquity, call out pride as the most dangerous of inclinations?

I mean, we get lust (fleshly pursuits without boundaries) and gluttony (addiction) and wrath (unbridled anger and contempt elevated to destruction) but pride? What’s with that? The worst?

Believe me, I struggle with pride. You may not but I do. And the more I understand it and its power, the more I need help to fend off the strength of its attractions.

I am no philosopher but I’ll toss out that I think a main reason pride is dangerous is because of its insidious nature. I like the word “insidious” because it sort of sounds like its definition. It means proceeding in a gradual or subtle way, resulting in harmful effects. It burrows and sets its tentacles, reorienting our attentions. What at first seems completely harmless by reasonable measures can, unchecked, evolve into a force as destructive as any we know. While I’m not a philosopher, I am a trained historian and this thing I know.

But we don’t have to go there right now. Let’s just look at the less severe or more subtle forms and its implications. And, then, back to humility.

A common joke here is the statement, “I’m the humblest person I know.” Or, “look at my actions and how I’m always standing up for the disadvantaged.”  Yes! Look at me!

Let’s remember Keller’s statement that humility is just thinking of one’s self less. Here’s where it begins.

A confession: At age 50, I was at the pinnacle of my profession. Sought out and hired to build a brand new high school, the unrealized dream of many of my peers. I was deemed largely responsible for helping my last high school navigate the most difficult period in its 75 year history: In an 11th month period, the suicides of five of our students with the Santana and Granite Hills shootings and 9/11 sandwiched in between. This wasn’t really about educational theory. It was about saving lives. The approvals poured in. I was doing really good stuff and few would have labeled me as arrogant, especially as I showed tremendous sensitivity to the suffering. I had all of the tools. Intelligent. Experienced. Insightful. Effective at producing results. And so I was “promoted” to start the thing from scratch: Design the best school to do the best thing for thousands of people. I took the task seriously, immersing myself into the work, very aware that I was being given tremendous responsibility. In a sense, the whispering voice said “you were made for this. this will be your magnum opus.” And, the voice continued, “don’t screw it up. Think of who and what is depending on you.”  What could be so wrong with this? What did I not see?

What I saw, I denied. The thing that got so much attention masked an honest appraisal of who I am and the real challenges of living the right kind of life.

My pride was good pride. My humility was not contrived. I visited ramshackle camps where some of my students lived without plumbing or electricity to better understand how to serve them. I did ride alongs with beat deputies to see where gang members lived and hung out. I entered apartments of dangerous students, pulled weeds and picked up trash, became as close to our custodian as I was to our best teachers. Made connections with countless agencies to help those in my community in need. I encouraged and cared for others. And people looked on and said this is very good.

Then it came crashing down. The proverbial house of cards. I was so focused on what to do and what to accomplish (remember, I was not some modern Simon Legree bent on domination but one of the good guys) that I lost sight of true north. The compass had never been set properly and the more I advanced in the cause of good, the more I avoided the basic fact that I was hurting deep down inside and had never been completely honest with myself or others the nature of the hurt. The insidious nature of pride had got its foothold. Poof.

Now, not all people experience these kinds of highs and lows. But the thing about highs and lows is it kind of focuses your attention. It certainly did mine. Recall, as I often do, the myth of Icarus. His father warned him about hubris, over confidence or extreme pride. Icarus ignored the advice and chose to fly high … in his case, too close to the sun, when his manufactured wings melted and he plunged to destruction. Hubris and pride. This, of course, is one source of the well-known phrase, “Pride Goeth Before the Fall.” What is our source of motivation and what are we unwilling to unmask that will inform of us of our weakness and mortality?

A divergent question: What do we choose for our epitaph or obituary? Here lies Brad, one heckuva principal? Here lies Tom, a most prideful fellow? Here lies Sally, the most accomplished attorney? Here lies Barry, a magnificently wealthy man? Here lies Darlene, graduating with multiple degrees from Harvard, Stanford, Yale, you name it?

I know if I could rewind the clock, I would do some significant course corrections. Please do not judge this as false humility. I do not deny that I have put many of my gifts and talents to good use. But I recognize that I miscalculated the fallout from the struggle between pride and humility.

(I have not chosen to address here the many people who feel no pride. They feel without power. Are lost and broken or who have never experienced real love or who have lost it and can’t find it again. They feel as the door mat. Worth less than others. They are humbled by circumstance and may exist without hope, a terrible thing. Their humility is realized at times as humiliation. A true pit that can be expressed as despair. This awful place is as foreign to pride as humility is to narcissism. Perhaps we’ll get to that.)

Pride is a sin because it distracts us from the truth of our real value.

That’s worth considering, I think. We all understand value, at lease casually. Value is a relationship. Nothing has value in isolation from anything else. That should be evident. So, what is our real value? How do we know? Is it important to know?

This is a learned thing. We are not born with a sense of value but acquire it from our parents, other acquaintances, our experiences and so on. Oh, and we try all sorts of things to increase our value, especially if we believe we’ve had some deficit. Why does a person say, “Look at me. I’m somebody!” In other words, “for a few minutes, forget yourself but consider me and recognize my value.” Imagine that as bosses or parents or friends we kept clamoring for attention and approval. What’s going on here?

At the risk of offending some of you, I would argue that the nominees of both major parties in this recent election as well as the sitting president are some of the most narcissistic politicians in memory. Although Mrs. Clinton made the political error of calling out millions as deplorable, both Mr. Trump and Mr. Obama have similarly libeled whole groups of people while conceitedly calling attention to their own prowess. No wonder massive groups of people across the entire spectrum are so angry!!

Humility is a recognition that the universe in a very real sense of everyday living does not revolve around me. It is the recognition that our battles and challenges, our successes and celebrations, are played out everywhere around us and it is healthy to reign in our enthusiasms while seeking the celebrations and joys for others. Do I engage a project or cause for some perceived greater good but remain detached from the heartfelt lives lived right around me?

Will my epitaph or obituary include words like Loving? Caring? Thoughtful? Compassionate? Kind? Are these good things? Even well-intentioned pride can detract from our ability to grow in these areas.

One of my friends named Mike (I have more than one, thankfully!) is the owner of a business that employs a fairly substantial number of people. He is under a lot of pressure as are many of those that work for him, nearly all of whom labor with their hands and backs for long periods of time outdoors. Their individual livelihoods depend upon diligence and perseverance. Sloths don’t survive. The other night, he was describing how hard it was for new guys to start work in such demanding conditions. As the owner, he doesn’t usually have to micromanage but wants to rely on his experienced guys to teach the new ones. Unfortunately, he witnessed some poor new guy really struggling and wasn’t getting the help he need. So, Mike got down in the dirt to show him. Mike related at the end of the day how this fellow was beaming that he had made it through his first day and was ready for Day 2. Mike’s simple humility resulted in this man’s elevation in value and will hopefully model how this new fellow can pay attention to others as he grows. For the record, I have experienced Mike as one of the most generous and thoughtful guys I know. It’s not hard.

Well, if you’ve come this far, you may be thinking he’s making a big deal out of something I don’t really see as operative in my life. I’m basically a decent person who cares for others. I’m not battling any real demons or struggling with deep anxieties. I’m certainly not lording it over others. Does the universe really revolve around the conflict between pride and humility? Well, actually it does. I’m just not that good at laying it out.

The real power of the struggle probably doesn’t become clear until we look at the nature of good and evil and their respective sources.

In the meantime, I propose that we spend some useful time exploring not the grand questions of good and evil but how pride and humility are expressed in our own lives and what we can learn from that expression.

Next: I’ll probably share the piece I wrote to my group that kicked all of this off, which has to do with the “how” of dealing with the greater issues. We’ll see.

Lord, thank you for helping us to understand the nature of our value. Of how to apply that sense of value to our lives and to the lives of those around us. Help us not to dismiss words or concepts that might appear foreign to the modern eye but to gain wisdom from timeless truths. Help us to clarify what is truly important and to build our capacity to live lives within those principles. Amen.