As you all know, Diane and I are Christians or, as we like to say, followers of Jesus. The term Christian is so loaded, so full of interpretation and even baggage, that it can be a conversation stopper or worse. That’s a tragedy. It’s also ironic. It might come as a surprise that Jesus came to abolish religion, rather than to start one. A statement that has to raise an eyebrow or two.

Maybe I’ll go all theological at some point but that’s not the point of this overdue post. It has to do with grace and love, two things I’ve written about quite extensively in the past three months.

There are all kinds of love, while we commonly use a single word to describe them. C.S. Lewis posits four types of love in his aptly named book, The Four Loves.  Loosely put, he categorizes them as (1) Affectionate or empathetic love … such as that between close family members, (2) Friendship love … that between friends that are as close as siblings, (3) Romantic or sexual love and (4) charitable love or what some refer to as agape (pronounced uh-gop-eh) … love offered without condition or expectation of return. It should come as no surprise that Lewis considers this last type of love as the “highest” form of love. By such an extremely simplistic summary of his categories, I risk raising way too many questions or objections.

However, there is only one grace. (Disclaimer: Theologians can also parse grace and they have a point but, unlike love, the parsings are just ways of helping us wrap our heads around the same thing. Love is different.) Grace is a gift, undeserved but freely given. Grace and agape love go hand in hand.

Grace and agape are real examples of God and reflect his presence.

Furthermore, when we hear the words, “made in God’s image,” we can get distracted by assuming it means physical image. In the case of an incarnate Jesus, that’s true but I take it to mean much more. It means we are designed for grace and agape love. It means that if we all lived our lives with those two things as the primary focus of our behavior, imagine the difference.

Which brings me to Emmaus.

Some of you reading this are very familiar with Fourth Day communities like Emmaus and Kairos. Some may have heard of them but are largely unfamiliar. And others have no idea.

Put simply, Emmaus and Kairos invite people into an intensive 72 hour (three day) experience of grace and agape. While that three day experience is the beginning, both are called Fourth Day because of what we do when we leave. For reference, Kairos occurs in prison.

At the conclusion of each 72 hour experience, participants are asked to publicly describe what it meant to them and what they will do about it. It is a rare person who does not relate that it changed their life.

How is that possible? Many people attend retreats, often through churches, but not always. Many participants come away refreshed and re-energized. Some come away with new insights or a deeper sense of peace. Most people who attend Emmaus (you only go once as a participant) have been to many retreats. None would place this in that kind of category. Of course inmates in large prisons like RJ Donovan State Penitentiary in southern San Diego County have not been on many retreats. They live in a place we would liken to hell.

What distinguishes Emmaus and Kairos is that people are transformed through experiencing deep love and grace, most in ways they never had previously and some for the very first time.

This was true for Diane and me in 2009, which is why we’ve chosen to participate in the Emmaus community and serve on the teams who lead and support that annual three day experience. The planning takes many months and is intensive, especially for leadership. I was named the men’s director last May and we had our Walk last weekend(Thursday evening until Sunday evening. It’s not really a walk in that we tread around. Long story.). Diane is an assistant director this year and she is in the middle of the women’s Walk right now. Previously, I did some work with Kairos at Donovan, although I haven’t been able to continue due to so many other opportunities.

I’m sharing all of this not just as news but to continue a theme I touched on some weeks ago. Previously, I called it Church. And this may help bring us back to the first paragraph above.

Each of us carries within us some very special qualities. And those qualities seek outlets. Expression. We are wired to love and to be loved. We are wired to seek fulfillment in some form … although most of us make all sorts of choices that don’t really end up all that fulfilling or ultimately satisfying.

I believe one of those qualities is the draw to be in relationship with others. Unfortunately, many of those relationships are not as fulfilling as they can be because we hold back … we protect ourselves from hurt … we harbor our anxieties … we don’t share our deepest hopes and yearnings. We are a society and culture that idealizes the self … glamorizes the narcissist. We preach fulfillment through material means or through a spirituality that is about “actualizing” the self … an inward focus that places us at the center.  None of this gives expression to love and certainly not grace.

When we are in community, truly sharing life together, offering unconditional love and grace, we are on the path to fulfillment. This is the church I know and Emmaus is like that.

This is not religion, which is really about creating systems for us to earn our way to salvation (fulfillment or however you choose to characterize the ultimate goal). True love and grace have nothing to do with earning. And neither does salvation and fulfillment. This is what Jesus taught and a main reason why Diane and I say we follow him. The whole thing is just darned counterintuitive. But it’s true.

And, this is what Emmaus is about. This is what church should be about. This is how life is meant to be lived.

Lord, thank you for showing us love and grace. Thank you for accepting our surrender from the lies that pull us away from the true nature of these unique forces. Help us to grow more deeply so that we can receive and offer unconditional love. So that we can receive and extend grace. Thank you for Emmaus and Kairos, two remarkable organizations built around love and grace. I thank you for the men who were transformed last weekend, who described in detail how their eyes and hearts were opened to dimensions of love and grace they had not previously known existed. Thank you for the many, many men who worked to make the three days successful and for the hundreds around the world that prayed for all of us by name, covering every hour of the experience. Please be with Diane and the women this weekend, as well, and we look forward to everyone getting together next weekend to celebrate and to continue our discussion about how to bless others as we all continue our Fourth Day. Amen.